I have decided to take the January 2019 NaJoWrMo Challenge (National Journal Writing Month). It is a 30 day journal writing challenge to build your daily journaling habit.
I have to admit as a journal writing facilitator I have not written on. the. daily.
Like most Mompreneurs we are often juggling the needs of many and often leave us for last (or not at all). So, as hard as I was working on making sure I carved out me time. I wasn't always making the most of it...
As 2019 approached I took some time to reflect back on 2018.
Did I achieve the goals I had set out?
What did I want for myself and my family for 2019?
One of the top goals was to continue to build on my writing habit.
So what better way to get started then by joining NaJoWrMo?
Before doing this though I really wanted to set myself up for success...
One evening I sat down to think about all of the challenges that was currently keeping me from writing a daily journal. What I discovered in this self-reflection was that two of the biggest roadblocks was: Me.
1. Binge watching TV shows during 2hr nap-time.
2. Getting out of bed at the very last minute and starting my day...already feeling behind.
(Rabbit hole affects include: stress/anxiety/panic/exhaustion/grumpy bear/eye strain/binge eating snack food without paying attention/growling...)
Sooo... I gave myself a performance review and it read like this:
Stressed out Mama who feels like she doesn't have enough "ME" time, but in fact is poor at time management.
Instead of berating myself with "You SHOULD be..." I decided to reflect on WHY I felt the need to binge watch TV during the sacred quiet time.
What I discovered was this:
I didn't want to feel like I had to answer to ANY...ONE.
I didn't want to ask...or answer any questions.
I needed a break from conversation so stayed away from journaling and meditation because it felt like MORE work. I wanted(needed) a COMPLETE out of body experience without the effort! Hence..binge watching TV shows...
BUT...this wasn't really aligning with the #lifegoals I had written on my vision board, or on my family word wall, or what I express to my friends...family...journal...kids...strangers...workshop participants.
Through this self-reflection to participate in the NaJoWrMo 2019 I had discovered a lot of the challenges started and ended with me. So, first step is admitting it... check. Next step: figuring out what I can change right away. Then, making sure I knew what my daily goal was and if I met it. (Reminds me of the lesson plans I used to write as a teacher)
I learned that I was not fully participating in the fulfilling life that I wanted.
That I was working. against. MY. SELF.
TOUGH response to what I thought was a quick reflection...
So what was I prepared to do about it?
Turn off the TV for at least 30 of the 120min.
Then when I am comfortable with that 30min I will increase the time.
(I am still at 30min)
I realize that life is about balance and if I am not living in alignment with what I want then I need to take the time to reflect on the why and then figure out the how.
Author/Journaler Christina Baldwin wrote one of my favourite quotes with regards to this dilemma:
Perhaps we wouldn't eat so much, or smoke, or drink so much if we were paying attention to ourselves. Perhaps we wouldn't talk so much if we were paying attention to each other.
Day 3 of NaJoWrMo 2019
and I am still writing...
I will be updating my blog every Sunday evening when I get my chance to sit and reflect on my week-long journal writing experience.
Today is my introduction to it all.